‘Rock Rumors

Alexandra Burns, Staff Writer/Features Editor

To my faithful readers, here is the piping hot tea:


The Mr.Kelly vs Mr.Ryan male English teacher rivalry lives to see another day. Mr.Ryan, lover of the Boston Bruins and all things Jane Austen, and Mr.Kelly, AP Language and Composition teacher and The Great Gatsby fanatic, have sustained their long-term feud through some recent exposing testimonies. Mr.Kelly testified the fact that he has seen Mr.Ryan rewatch Pride and Prejudice every day, as he says, “religiously.” Yet, Mr.Ryan said to a confidant that Mr.Kelly rereads The Great Gatsby every day, saying that he has never seen a man so intrigued and enthralled by the symbolism of a green light before. 


Changing subject, both literally and figuratively, the Spanish teachers are having their own Spanish Civil War. Señora Harris, an AP Spanish teacher and lover of llamas, and Señora Lindsay, a lover of all things penguins, are currently planning for the prom, a breeding ground for the start of a war. Señora Harris was seen dissing un pinguino in Señora Lindsay’s room, the audacity! But that’s not all, Señora Lindsay has also been spotted sneaking into Señora Harris’ room so she can steal some of Señora Harris’ llamas. ¡No me diga!


And you wouldn’t believe what’s happening in the math department. From an anonymous source, it has been confirmed that math teacher “besties,” Mrs.Smith and Mrs.Dolores, who teach in neighboring classrooms, plan to stage a coup on Mr.Peixoto, the current head of the math department, to become the math department co-chairs. However, a separate inside source said that both Mrs.Smith and Mrs.Dolores have different plans to take down each other! Mrs.Smith, as credited by the source, plans to use the army of mascots she has collected over the years (including The Gingerbread Man, which was a gift from Mrs.Dolores) to take power. But Mrs.Dolores, women’s varsity basketball coach and superior kickball strategist, plans to use her kickball and basketball skills to achieve victory. Who knew an annual kickball competition between certain classes of Mrs.Dolores and Mrs.Smith would lead to such a rivalry?


Your eyes won’t believe what you are reading, just like our president’s, Mr. Sullivan’s ears couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He confirmed that he had been walking around in the foyer and heard Mrs.Seals singing in the wrong key! The head of the Music Department, Tri-M, and the leader of our faithful Jazz Choir and Chorus was singing in the wrong key. However, was it Mrs.Seals singing out of key or was it Mr.Sullivan making wild accusations? We will never know. 


Now, the last juicy piece will be quite a shocker. Imagine if the Deacon declined your request to join his club. Well, guess what, that happened to a lonely history teacher and second-floor resident, Mr.King. Mr.King, men’s freshman basketball coach and National Honor Society moderator, was feeling left out during the second lunch, and asked our Deacon Joe if he could join, what Feehan students affectionately call, The God Squad™️, which is composed of theology teachers Mr.Smith, Mr. Fasy, and Deacon Joe, as well as English teacher, Mr.Powell. The squad has lunch together every day in Mr.Smith’s classroom because it is the midpoint between the three gentlemen’s classrooms, Well, imagine Mr.King’s surprise when Deacon Joe said “no” to his request, because, as our sources confirm, Mr.King is too young to join The God Squad™️. 


For more steaming hot gossip, find the gossip section in the next edition of The Rock Report. 



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